This is a no-brainer: The TP ALWAYS rolls from the top
Posted: 7/30/2009
By James Mulcahy
People seem to be looking for something to talk about besides GM's bankruptcy, North Korea playing dangerous games, and wars in the Middle East. We all want to take our minds off all that heavy stuff -- at least for a while.
I recently found on Facebook (stop laughing) just such a diversion.
If you're familiar with the social networking Web site Facebook, they barrage users with intelligent and important games like "Which 'Dazed and Confused' Character Are You?" and "On Which Major League Baseball Team Could I Have Played?" It's all pretty trivial, I admit, but it can develop into interesting conversation and humorous columns.
How's that for segue?
On one particular day, an actual Facebook conversation took place stemming from a poll on which way the toilet paper should roll. Yes, really. Apparently, many people have very strong opinions about this. If we were this adamant about, say, presidential elections, we'd be a stronger republic. We could wipe out so many problems.
Sorry.
I started the local dialogue by taking the Facebook poll. At the time, about 110,000 people had already participated. The vast majority believes, as I do, that TP must roll out from the top. Here's the actual conversation, starting with my all-important published Facebook status: "James Mulcahy is amazed at how many people have such a strong opinion about which way the TP should roll ... we all KNOW IT'S FROM THE TOP!"
When I told my wife, Julie, of the poll, you could actually hear her eyes roll back in her head. "You're joking," she said with the dryest dry I've ever heard. She very reluctantly admitted that there might be a column there somewhere; she's not much into bathroom humor.
Here are the responses.
-- Kelly Larivey Craig "I concur!!"
-- Joey Chambers "ALWAYS!"
-- James Mulcahy "Hey, it's important stuff."
-- Joey Chambers "Very important"
-- Bobby Garrett "That's right the top is the ONLY way"
-- James Mulcahy "Ahhh. This is where columns are born :)"
-- Virginia Shannon Adkins "I've been trying to tell my husband that it should be from the top for years, but he doesn't get it. I need to let him know that it is not only me, but FB also who is making this a national issue."
-- Kelly Larivey Craig "IF and I do mean IF someone bothers to replace the toilet paper and puts it the other way I WILL take the time to turn it around the correct way."
-- Joey Chambers (always a conversationalist) "Same here!"
-- Linda Willett Frank "Leo and I agree, the top. That way it's closer to you."
-- Kelly Larivey Craig "It just bugs me if there is that loose piece dangling down behind ... if it rolls over from the top you can smooth the loose end down onto the roll. Much neater!! And of course, any towels hung over the shower curtain have to be straight and even ... and all the towels and washrags have to be folded the same way with the folded edge all facing the front ... YUP!! That's whatcha call OCD!"
-- Jessica Powell Chambers "I really don't care ... I'm just surprised when there's TP on the roll around here!"
-- Linda Willett Frank "My husband would love you Kelly. I don't really care that much, just glad we can afford toilet paper."
-- Jessica Powell Chambers "This is a hilarious conversation...glad I stumbled upon it! :)"
-- Peggy Catlett (always the voice of reason) "If you look at paper with a pattern, it is right side up when the paper is over the top."
-- Shawna Meadows "James, a column is not born here......A novel is!!!!!!!"
Maybe you're right, Shawna. I'm already trying to come up with a good title.
"Two-ply Turmoil" or "The Great Charmin Clash" (subtitled "Mr. Whipple Would Be Proud")
"Subjects That Get Way Too Much Ink." That's the one.
I had occasion recently to become involved in a highly competitive game that required extreme skill, finesse and stamina. It was a match where raw talent was combined with strategy and brilliant psychology to overpower opponents who were misguided into thinking they were worthy.
The game was cornhole -- a Kentucky variant of horseshoes that is much safer for player and spectator alike because those errant iron horseshoes aren't painfully wrapping around ankles. On this day, the stakes were high: two very refined male egos and reputations of skill were on the line.
While visiting the home of Shelby County Judge-Executive Rob Rothenburger in the most casual of settings, Rob's wife, Janevera, and daughter Casey challenged Rob and me to a cornhole match. It was the age-old battle (no, not good vs. evil) of man vs. woman.
Genevera started the mind games, telling us that she was a first-timer in the cornhole rink. Her game proved otherwise, but despite formidable efforts from mother and daughter, the men dominated.
We won this game 142-17. You see, in professional Cornhole, the game ends at 21 -- not 20 and certainly not 22. If your beanbag goes into the hole while your score is 20, those two points put you over that magic 21, thus sending your score back to 11. That happened to us -- over and over and over. We lost count but figure we actually scored somewhere around 142 points.
It was a marathon game, "probably the longest game in the history of cornhole," Casey said.
It should be noted that we were just toying with the women the entire time and could easily have ended the game at any given moment.
I recently found on Facebook (stop laughing) just such a diversion.
If you're familiar with the social networking Web site Facebook, they barrage users with intelligent and important games like "Which 'Dazed and Confused' Character Are You?" and "On Which Major League Baseball Team Could I Have Played?" It's all pretty trivial, I admit, but it can develop into interesting conversation and humorous columns.
How's that for segue?
On one particular day, an actual Facebook conversation took place stemming from a poll on which way the toilet paper should roll. Yes, really. Apparently, many people have very strong opinions about this. If we were this adamant about, say, presidential elections, we'd be a stronger republic. We could wipe out so many problems.
Sorry.
I started the local dialogue by taking the Facebook poll. At the time, about 110,000 people had already participated. The vast majority believes, as I do, that TP must roll out from the top. Here's the actual conversation, starting with my all-important published Facebook status: "James Mulcahy is amazed at how many people have such a strong opinion about which way the TP should roll ... we all KNOW IT'S FROM THE TOP!"
When I told my wife, Julie, of the poll, you could actually hear her eyes roll back in her head. "You're joking," she said with the dryest dry I've ever heard. She very reluctantly admitted that there might be a column there somewhere; she's not much into bathroom humor.
Here are the responses.
-- Kelly Larivey Craig "I concur!!"
-- Joey Chambers "ALWAYS!"
-- James Mulcahy "Hey, it's important stuff."
-- Joey Chambers "Very important"
-- Bobby Garrett "That's right the top is the ONLY way"
-- James Mulcahy "Ahhh. This is where columns are born :)"
-- Virginia Shannon Adkins "I've been trying to tell my husband that it should be from the top for years, but he doesn't get it. I need to let him know that it is not only me, but FB also who is making this a national issue."
-- Kelly Larivey Craig "IF and I do mean IF someone bothers to replace the toilet paper and puts it the other way I WILL take the time to turn it around the correct way."
-- Joey Chambers (always a conversationalist) "Same here!"
-- Linda Willett Frank "Leo and I agree, the top. That way it's closer to you."
-- Kelly Larivey Craig "It just bugs me if there is that loose piece dangling down behind ... if it rolls over from the top you can smooth the loose end down onto the roll. Much neater!! And of course, any towels hung over the shower curtain have to be straight and even ... and all the towels and washrags have to be folded the same way with the folded edge all facing the front ... YUP!! That's whatcha call OCD!"
-- Jessica Powell Chambers "I really don't care ... I'm just surprised when there's TP on the roll around here!"
-- Linda Willett Frank "My husband would love you Kelly. I don't really care that much, just glad we can afford toilet paper."
-- Jessica Powell Chambers "This is a hilarious conversation...glad I stumbled upon it! :)"
-- Peggy Catlett (always the voice of reason) "If you look at paper with a pattern, it is right side up when the paper is over the top."
-- Shawna Meadows "James, a column is not born here......A novel is!!!!!!!"
Maybe you're right, Shawna. I'm already trying to come up with a good title.
"Two-ply Turmoil" or "The Great Charmin Clash" (subtitled "Mr. Whipple Would Be Proud")
"Subjects That Get Way Too Much Ink." That's the one.
I had occasion recently to become involved in a highly competitive game that required extreme skill, finesse and stamina. It was a match where raw talent was combined with strategy and brilliant psychology to overpower opponents who were misguided into thinking they were worthy.
The game was cornhole -- a Kentucky variant of horseshoes that is much safer for player and spectator alike because those errant iron horseshoes aren't painfully wrapping around ankles. On this day, the stakes were high: two very refined male egos and reputations of skill were on the line.
While visiting the home of Shelby County Judge-Executive Rob Rothenburger in the most casual of settings, Rob's wife, Janevera, and daughter Casey challenged Rob and me to a cornhole match. It was the age-old battle (no, not good vs. evil) of man vs. woman.
Genevera started the mind games, telling us that she was a first-timer in the cornhole rink. Her game proved otherwise, but despite formidable efforts from mother and daughter, the men dominated.
We won this game 142-17. You see, in professional Cornhole, the game ends at 21 -- not 20 and certainly not 22. If your beanbag goes into the hole while your score is 20, those two points put you over that magic 21, thus sending your score back to 11. That happened to us -- over and over and over. We lost count but figure we actually scored somewhere around 142 points.
It was a marathon game, "probably the longest game in the history of cornhole," Casey said.
It should be noted that we were just toying with the women the entire time and could easily have ended the game at any given moment.
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